I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
