mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
