Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
