It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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