He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
