the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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