Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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