You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Life is so much better after having sex.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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