The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
