it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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