Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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