Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
