A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Come on in and take your pants off
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