Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
