so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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