well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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