I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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