Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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