Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
