i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
