So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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