The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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