Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
why is half of my head shaved?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
