Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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