My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
