i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
