I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize