im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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