So gin and wine won't be happening again
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
