I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My vagina is very pro this idea
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
