My first STD was from a foam party
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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