so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
