Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
