it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
