Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
