yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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