My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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