just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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