Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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