I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
