You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
