I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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