be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
