I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize