It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
