I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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