dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
