Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
