she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
