I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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