Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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