I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
