god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
