Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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