You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
