oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
