Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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