he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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