We're facebook friends in real life
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize