I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
