bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
handjob tips. give me some.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
