I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just google imaged poop.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
