why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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